


things will never be the same again

by birb_blop



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Graduation Angst, i'm kinda just projecting here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:36:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24613888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birb_blop/pseuds/birb_blop
Summary: It's a month before graduation and Sayo walks home, accompanied only by her wandering thoughts and the bitter chill of the rain.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	things will never be the same again

Sayo felt old. Maybe it was the way her back complained sometimes when she woke up in the morning, or the fact that her knees hurt a bit when she walked sometimes. Or the way she was always tired. But the most likely culprit was the once wished for but now looming deadline of graduation- leaving the world, as she knew it, behind to face the future full of uncertainty and change. She was going to be an Adult, in the big, intimidating world of adulting. A pit began to build up in her chest, with each passing thought digging a bit deeper, fear burrowing down and imbedding itself into her very being, like roots growing in fertile soil, vines creeping into her ribcage and swallowing her whole. What if she wasn’t ready? Scratch that, she knew she wasn’t ready. But the world wouldn’t wait for her- already buds were growing on the branches of the sakura trees: a beautiful and joyous sign for years past, signaling the start of spring, of a new year, but now, each passed bud only served to remind her of the fragility of her world and just how little time she had left before the sakura fell and disappeared, taking with it the remains of her childhood and the last of her innocent days. 

Sure, she still had some time left but she knew better than anyone that time passes in the blink of an eye. To the outside observer she seemed to have the perfect life: a good band, good grades, and part of student council, but she knew the truth: she still had so many regrets- not rekindling up her relationship with Hina sooner, spending years of her life hating Hina for reasons that she knew Hina could not control, not spending enough time simply just being a teenager, having to quit kyuudou because she was simply just too busy, failing the Future World Fes prelims that year, and not having the courage to confess to— Sayo shook her head to clear her thoughts, like a dog would shake off water, but unlike the dog, Sayo’s head was determined to hold on to its thoughts. She had wasted so much time, she laments, and if there was only more of it left, more days, more months, more years of carelessness, of freedom and naivete, hell, even that teenage drama that she had always hated. 

She had never really had friends before last year, even driving away the one who looked at her like she was the full moon on a clear night. She had never really seen the point of them. But as they had gotten closer to her, breaking down every wall she had tried to set up between them, she had grown to trust in them and treasure them. And she has learned so much from them, from basic human interaction, to video games, to how to bake and cook. She had spent so much time with them: the long, sometimes painful, but always rewarding routine of practice, practice, and more practice; playing video games, which she never thought she would do, let alone grow to like; dealing with paperwork as part of the student council; baking in the kitchen; and countless other precious memories that she hoped she would never forget; though she knew that eventually, most would be lost to the eternally shifting sands of time. Now, she wished that she had more time with them, or had opened up earlier: a month from now and they would be scattered across the country from each other, never again able to casually meet up on a whim, never again running into each other at the local cafe or bakery.

_ Things will never be the same again. _ The thought leaps to the forefront of her mind, unbidden. The spring of her youth is almost over, gone, wasted, evaporating before her very eyes like moisture in a desert. There were only so many jam sessions left before the band splinters off to different parts of the world, so many meals shared between family and friends, so many nights left that she will spend in the building she calls home, and so many school days to trudge through before she is forced to confront the harsh realities of life. It doesn’t help that she is moving halfway across the world to go to college in America, with the 16 hour time zone difference between here and there. It doesn’t help that the one person who had always been by her side, even when she didn’t want it, had chosen to stay, something about agency stuff. It doesn’t help that the rest of Roselia is going off to different places: Minato-san to Germany, Imai-san going to college close by while Shirokane-san is headed for to a music school elsewhere in Japan, and Udagawa-san, who was still stuck in high school she was while the rest of the band drifted away from her, with a vague promise to keep practicing and to reform in four years, when most of them finished the higher education they were seeking. But people change a lot in a year, let alone four, and who knows what and where they’ll be in four years.

_ splish.  _ drops of water start falling from the sky, trickling slowly at first but then faster and faster until a cacophony of rain is pouring down in sheets from the heavens. A lot of things had happened in the rain, Sayo muses with a grim smile. It was in the rain that she ran out to Hina, finally turning away from years of bitterness and anger and hatred that she ironically still hated herself for. It was in the rain that she had found fun, trying to drive it away through dancing while watching Tsurumaki-san, Toyama-san, and Tomoe-san drive it away with the taiko drums. And now, it is in the rain that Sayo realizes that her childhood was drawing to its inevitable close, and there is nothing she can do to stop it. All she wants is a little more time. But she is too old and too tired. And as she walks through the unforgiving downpour, the cold droplets pelting her shivering body, she can no longer tell where the rain ends and her tears begin. 

**Author's Note:**

> I got sad at 3 am and this just happened,,, sorry if it's ooc i'm just projecting here  
> I don't even know why I'm so scared of graduation I'm not even a junior in highschool yet
> 
> if you have any tips or ways to improve feel free to let me know :D
> 
> you can yell at me on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/birb_blop), DMs are always open, I'm shy but I'd like some friends :o


End file.
